I see the beard musings & the essay about the Academic world already combining. There seems to my eye to be a connection through tonality and also situation in what would evolve as a most interesting novel. It's been a while since I've read a good academic romp; you've amassed the necessary details - feels as if it would be a great gathering place for the opinions I've seen in your blogging. Just a suggestion for a Rainy Morning.
| If you saw my last post, I referred to something very funny. I spoke about some university in the world where a gentleman who was an Assistant Professor there, suddenly became the President there and the President's position is higher than that of a Professor. So, he got a promotion as well. We have seen what media spin can do to the careers of politicians and celebrities. In fact, without the media, there is a kind of spin that you can see in the lives of professors too. I have seen from fictional and factual sources, from lived and personally experienced to those experienced by others and I have known many such stories of pumped up reputations of professors. In many Indian universities,and I am sure many universities in countries like India, the simplest thing is to dress up 'well'—like a waiter in a hotel if you are a male professor and —like a bride to be, if you are a female professor, if you desire instant stardom. If you speak English, it certainly helps a lot more. It doesn't matter whether you know how to speak English or not. That is perfectly inconsequential. Yes, if you are a woman and if your skin is of a slightly lighter color, that helps too. If you are a woman and you speak English, then your chances for instant stardom are a lot more. In fact, the fact that you are a woman and the fact that you can dress 'well', speak English and are 'blessed' with a skin of a lighter color, you must have already 'made' it as a star. By now, people must think of you as the most qualified, the most intelligent, most competent, most educated person on earth. And if you thought that this was the end of the road, you might just find someone telling you that you are a bit more intelligent than Marie Curie, whereas you might not even know what was the stuff that got Marie Curie the Nobel Prize! (And those days, the Nobels weren't as controversial as the Obama one!) Oh, I am so sorry, I forgot to mention, if you desire such stardom,you must also display the correct 'deportment'. Yes,folks, I said 'deportment', not really 'department' because you no longer need any academic merit, you just need merit of some, or rather, no academic value. |
| This is not yet a short story, it is but a simple post. This post takes its inspiration from few sources,some I'll name and some I will not. The first and clear inspiration is Harishankar Parsai, the great Hindi satirist, some other influences must remain hidden too. However,the University Professor,and sometimes the University Administrator, can be very funny at times. I know of a story in some part of the world, where a person used to work on a temporary teaching position for a long time. He worked seven years and during that period, he used to arrange books on the shelves in the library. Then he got full time tenure. And within two or three years of getting the full time tenure as an Assistant Professor, he had been appointed Vice Chancellor (or the President) of the same University! Isn't it very funny? |
| I really miss the fact that the great Harishankar Parsai is no more. He died about 14 years ago. If he had been alive,I am sure he would have written a lot on the current situation facing our country in the last 14 years. I guess there may not be any satirist worth his calibre to write on recent events. Parsai would have written on the state of education, education reforms, Shashi Tharoor's tweets and his tweeting controversy, the floods in Bihar where the Kosi river changed its course (which was something the officials couldn't predict at all), the sacrifice of Sonia Gandhi turning down the Prime Minister's post, the current infighting in the BJP—-there would be so much for Parsai. I can visualize what Parsai would have done if he were alive today. |
| By now, you must have
understood that I have become a great fan of the greatest Hindi
satirist ever, the fascinating writer, Harishankar Parsai. I'm
referring to a satire written by Parsai with a specific purpose in
mind. I'll come to the purpose later. Parsai wrote a satirical piece called "I am going to contest elections in Bihar" (Bihar is an Indian state and Parsai is referring to political instability). In this piece,Parsai writes that he has changed his name from Harishankar Parsai to Babu Harishankar Prasad Narayan Singh because he's going to fight midterm state elections. Parsai says that he has come to Bihar from his native state, Madhya Pradesh and that he has traversed so many miles only to contest elections. After a while, he sees Lord Krishna, the God himself, who too has come to Bihar to contest elections. Parsai finds an excellent opportunity in Lord Krishna. Parsai muses that when people have used Shankaracharya for their narrow political ends, then he would surely come up trumps because he has got Lord Krishna with him. Parsai tells himself, the first lesson in politics is to become a big man's lackey. So,they go and meet some politicians.Lord Krishna tells a politician that he's planning to contest elections. Hearing that, the politician says,why wouldn't you contest, you have temples, people pray for you etc. Finally, the politician says, 'But you are a Yadav, aren't you?" (Yadav is an Indian caste.) Lord Krishna says,"But I'm Lord Krishna, I'm God.I don't have a caste." Lord Krishna is quite angry with politicians and he suggests to Parsai that they should go to a university and meet professors because they are intellectuals. So, they meet a Professor of Political Science and Lord Krishna tells him that he is planning to contest elections. The Professor says as he is a kayastha (an Indian caste, 'higher' than the Yadavs), he would vote only for a kayastha candidate. Lord Krishna is furious and says,"It is a shame that you think in such narrow terms even after being educated." To which, the Professor replies, "Education brings knowledge and I now have the knowledge that I am a kayastha ,so, I will vote for a kayastha. Earlier, when we weren't educated,we didn't have the knowledge about who we were." Lord Krishna is quite livid and frustrated with the educated lot. He is too tired and is resting under a tree. Parsai is with him. A person comes and whispers in Parsai's ears, 'Do you know that your candidate, Krishna, eloped with a woman and married him? If he becomes the Chief Minister of the state, then what would become of our daughters?' The person whispers such rumors and goes away. Parsai tells Krishna that rumors have begun floating about you. Finally, Lord Krishna says that there are thousands of temples where he is worshipped and on the strength of the support given by the priests, he would easily win the elections. Krishna and Parsai go to a temple. The priest is excited to see Lord himself and he says that his prayers were successful. When Krishna asks him for his support in the electoral battle, the priest says,'Lord, you are someone I worship but I will vote on caste lines.' Thus, the electoral campaign of Lord Krishna comes to an end. The satirical story is quite symptomatic of the state of affairs in the country. Isn't this representation of entropy a powerful mode of social commentary? Moreover, doesn't the piece show how uneducated the 'university professor' can be? |
| Now, if you look at instances of feudalism in education, you would come across many instances. I could count lots and lots of them and my fingers wouldn't be enough if I started doing so. For instance, from my personal lived experience as a university teacher in India, I have known that there are institutions,where students 'respect' you. Now, please don't get me wrong and please don't find my ideas 'radical' because that is not what I mean at all. I haven't ever worked in an American university, so, I don't know what this idea of 'respect' means. But isn't it very funny to you as a teacher that every time, you approach any spot on the campus where you teach, the students just stand up and wish you 'good morning' or even look at their watches and then wish you 'good afternoon' if it were 12.05 pm—just 5 minutes after noon. Now, it is one thing students do it (and after all, there is a culture in school and somewhere in society that fosters such habits) but it is obviously another thing if X or Y or Z demands or clearly expects students to do so. To me, it would be nothing short of hilarious. Or suppose, you were passing by, and there were students sitting on some benches on the campus and they were chatting amongst themselves and if they didn't stand up and wish you and you kind of retaliated at the poor kids and kind of sternly admonished them,'Haven't you learnt any manners? Don't you think you should stand up and wish your teachers?' Suppose,as a teacher, you did that... Oh my,I would find it very funny. I would also find it a fit case for a wonderful short story. This is the kind of behaviour that I would call 'bapoti', feudal behaviour. This does not mean I am against students respecting their teachers. Let them respect people by all means. But why is it necessary for any one of us teachers to 'enforce' this respect? This is what I find quite funny. I would never do this. In fact, students who have known me in personal life would attest to the fact that if they ever saw me pass them by in the campus and if they stood up, I would rather make a witty comment like 'Is there a spring on your bench that you jumped up?' and they would normally reply, 'Sir, but we need to respect you' to which I would sweetly come back with 'But does respect need to be shown by standing up every time you see me?', to which, they would be nonplussed. The only problem that I see in the traditional Indian educational system, which permeates higher education, is that students become so accustomed to oppressive and coercive modes of imparting education, including such extraneous behavioural problems on part of their teachers, that they find it slightly difficult to accept someone who makes a witty comment. |
| Dear Friends, I hope you enjoy these three quotes on the nature of satire. If you're going to get into social criticism with absurdity and satire, you can't be politically correct when you do that. |
The more I read the late Harishankar Parsai, the great Hindi satirist, the more fascinating I find him as a literary figure. I translated a very fascinating short story by Harishankar Parsai called 'A Middle Class Dog". This story,dripping with satire, at every stage talks about a dog who Parsai mistakes to be an upper class dog. To quote the great Parsai: I thought this is an upper class, elitist dog. It seems so. I respect everything upper class, everything elitist, even if it is a dog. I was in a piquant position in that house. I felt quite low—in the same complex, there was an upper class dog and then, there was I. The dog gave me dirty looks. (Translated by Roomy Naqvy) By the end of the story, it becomes clear that the dog is not an upper class dog but a middle class one. Parsai shows a middle class temperament pretty well, where he says that a middle class person shows off 'his elitism' at the lower classes in public but also shows solidarity with them in moments of crises. Finally, the fate of the middle class dog is rather serious because he is beaten up badly by the lower class people. In terms of satire, I think a strong message lies in Parsai's story. There are many of us who lead truly middle class lives in terms of the jobs that we do— for instance working in tertiary sectors/professions such as teaching, banking etc —but we do 'show off' a lot in front of the lower classes, we do show a kind of elitism and then when we face a crisis, we want them to help us. I have seen this with a lot of clarity among college and university professors in India. For instance, if you are a typical university professor, who is being satirized or represented by Parsai, what you do is to show a lot of 'elitism', a lot of 'social class', 'education' to people who are guards in your complex, (sometimes you show arrogance and don't even pay the guards any tip on festivals) or those who work as maids in your house or those who iron your clothes or the people who drive your cars. Or people who work as junior office, administrative staff at your place of work. However, if you fell sick,or if petrol was stolen from your car, you would most probably think of the same set of people to help you out. |
| In a recent issue (September 2009) of Hans (Swan), the famous Hindi literary magazine, Rajendra Yadav, the editor and celebrated Hindi writer wrote an editorial attacking Professor Namwar Singh, a well-known Hindi academic. I'll translate few extracts from this editorial to demonstrate how Yadav uses satire to good effect. Interestingly, this is an editorial, not a short story and it uses Namwar Singh's name. Rajendra Yadav also refers to the great Hindi satirist, Harishankar Parsai. The editorial goes like this—> Who is this person is the guise of Namwar Singh? By Rajendra Yadav (Translated for this blog by Roomy Naqvy) In a short story, Harishankar Parsai writes: Early morning, a politician sat with a sword in his hand, 'Today, I am going to cut this neck'. The more people around him tried to make him see reason, the more adamant the politician became, that today, this neck would be cut off. People asked him, there must be a reason behind it? He blurted out with annoyance, 'Is this a neck, where no one has put a garland for the last seven days....Now, I won't let it go.' I wonder if Namwar too would be afflicted with such a divine restlessness that two days have passed and no one has called him to chair a session. He's the chairperson or the last speaker of every seminar. I don't mind, if he would like to chair it. But the audience expects that Namwar would utter something inspirational or different but Namwar disppaoints them every time, or leaves them stunned—with a strange, elusive smile on his face that seems to mean nothing. Decades ago, I had called him 'an intellectual callgirl', borrowing a phrase from Arthur Koestler. |
| Out of the Hindi literary journals that are published in India, Hans must be the most celebrated of them all.Hans (Swan) used to have circulation figures of 17,000 at one point, which was quite impressive for a literary magazine. The Paris Review, which is supported by the Aga Khan Trust, apparently circulates 10,000 copies. Hans is not available at newsstands and at bookstores in New Delhi. So, I went to the office and took out a current year's subscription. I also bought one year's back issues. I found out from the office staff that they have all back issues available from 1990 onwards. A friend of mine was present there with the Editor, Mr. Rajendra Yadav,the celebrated Hindi writer. My friend called me in and I was lucky enough to meet Rajendra Yadav. He's quite elderly and quite informal. I was so impressed to meet such a celebrity, such a senior person, and someone who is so friendly and so warm. Isn't it a far cry from the kind of stuffy, ossified, 'I'm so important kind', 'old-fogey type' academics that we normally find entrenched in the Indian academia? You would find such people a dime-a-dozen in English studies in India. I guess it comes from 'the colonial hangover'.Or it comes from the hangover of being thoroughly incompetent but preening no end of oneself! I'll post the address of this famous Hindi literary magazine in a future post. In fact, in a recent issue of Hans, Rajendra Yadav wrote a very interesting (and dripping with satire) editorial, the details of which I would love to share with you. |
| Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi,M. K. Gandhi or Mahatma
Gandhi, as he is variously known was born today, October 2,and today is
a national holiday in India. I think we have forgotten many ideals that
Gandhi espoused and what made him really strong and potent as a symbol
against oppression. I would like to give you a great quote by Gandhi on this occasion. Gandhi said: "You should be the change that you want to see." So, if there is any change that you would like to effect in your life, you should first become that change yourself. |
| On Sept 15, 2009, I decided that I'll try to translate500-1000 words of literary fiction every day and would not go to sleep till I reached my target for the day. I started with Harishankar Parsai's works. Parsai is the best satirist in Hindi literature. Till today, Sept 22, it's been a week, I have had my translation pace a bit diminished by seasonal flu and light fever. But I have managed to translate about 5500 words. So, I have done about 750 words a day and in the process, I have completed three short stories by Harishankar Parsai. And I'm working on the fourth.The stories that I have already translated are: 1. Lambs and Hyenas 2.Cars and Love (it's funny that Parsai wrote this years ago and I just wrote my short story recently about 'cars making love'.) 3. A Middle Class Dog (this is a fascinating story about a dog who shows that he's upper class and elite but is actually middle class.... I'll write about this story in detail later on.) |
| I was doing what they call a 'vanity search'—searching
for myself on Google and I found that two translations of the Gujarati
poet, Labhshankar Thakar that I had done in 1997, appeared on Muse
India. I had never heard from Muse India either. I guess they didn't
know how to reach me and they must have contacted Indian Literature, where they were first published. Anyway, these two poems that I translated can be seen at http://www.museindia.com/showfocus.asp?id=480 |
I found a very interesting reference to HarishankarParsai in writings by Osho, also known as Bhagwan Rajnish. I would liketo reproduce it here to show that Osho had the magnanimity to understandParsai's satire and respond to it in an educated and an intellectualfashion—not hurl wild accusations at Parsai, not indulge in slander atParsai, not ask his followers to attack Parsai. But after all, he wasOsho. Everyone in this world can't be Osho. The reference to Parsai isfrom The Mahageeta and the link is here: http://www.messagefrommasters.com/Beloved_Osho_Books/Indian_Mystics/The_Mahageeta_Volume_1.pdfJustyesterday somebody sent me a newspaper from Raipur. Shri HarishankarParsai has written an article against me. He knows me, knows me from mycollege days. He is the leading Hindi satirical |
Soon, a committee was instituted, a constitution was formed and soon a local committee of five representatives was announced, which would comprise elected representatives of all the animals in the forest and which would form laws for the forest and govern it.
There was a wave of joy that ran through the animal world about this ‘revolutionary’ change that a new, golden period of happiness, prosperity and security had been heralded.
The forest, in which our story is based, had a number of lambs—very noble, honest, polite, kind and innocent animals, which would even eat the grass with undue caution.
The lambs thought that their fear would be eradicated now. We would ask our representatives to make laws that no living being should kill or harass other beings. Everyone should live and let others live too. The society would be based on peace, love, friendship and cooperation.
And on the other hand, the hyenas thought that a calamity had struck them. There are so many lambs that they would hold the majority in the committee of representatives. And if they make laws that no animal should kill anyone, then what would we eat? Would we have to learn how to munch grass?
| You might have noticed that some stories,or rather all
short stories,have vanished from this blog.I have done this because I
am editing this blog and I have decided to send my stories to various
publications. In the future, I'll try to send my stories to various
print publications and not put them here. This would be good in the
sense that I would focus more on my literary skills. But I would
certainly discuss issues in a general sense and I would certainly place
important quotations from famous people here. I would also try and post
translations of famous writers as also instances of satire from other
well known litterateurs. There are many people I know, old friends who are not in New Delhi any longer, people—well known and lesser known— working professionals and everybody else that I got to know through social networking sites and old school pals— I know all of you can only access my stories if they are here. But when I publish them in print magazines, you will find it out. And I can always be accessed by anyone by email, sms etc. Accessing me should not be a problem. |
Aristotle
It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.
Demosthenes
Small opportunities are often the beginning of great enterprises.
Nazim Hikmet
Living is no laughing matter:
you must live with great seriousness
like a squirrel, for example-
I mean without looking for something beyond and above living,
I mean living must be your whole occupation.
Benjamin Disraeli
The secret of success is constancy of purpose.
Napoleon Bonaparte
Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.